For me, living with IBD means that I’m frequently left feeling as though I am not doing
enough to help myself… Like, everything feels so hard a lot of the time because
I am doing something wrong.
Friends and
family tell you
“Get more sleep”
and they truly
believe that if I tried harder to get more sleep, I wouldn't feel so tired all
of the time.
Of course! Didn’t think of that -.-
This is fatigue; it matters not whether I
sleep for 30 minutes or 10 hours! Every day in the early afternoon I am ready
to go back to sleep, lacking in concentration, lacking in patience and lacking
in, well, pretty much… WILL TO LIVE.
They tell
you
“If you ate differently then you’d have more
energy to get through the day.”
I do as I have been told to do by the professionals;
I eat little and often, as one should with a jpouch. Sure, I have days when I
eat nothing but junk, but junk works for my body. It processes better and it
usually gives me the extra 5mg of salt my body needs per day compared to a
regular (by regular I mean ‘owner of a colon’) person.
The medical
professionals tell me
“If you worked less hours then you would be
happier. You wouldn’t feel as stressed and you wouldn’t have to feel as though
you’re battling through every afternoon, therefore flaring less and feel
generally better.”
That may well be the case, but how much
happier would I be on payday when my wage doesn’t cover the bills? Huh,
Phillis?
I usually
shrug these off, but after months of feeling the strain of fatigue kicking my
ass, constantly thinking that I REALLY cannot feel worse than this, and then
being proved wrong, I figured ‘What the hell, it’s not going to do me any harm
to try a different diet. Maybe, it will improve my energy levels and help beat
the fatigue a little.’
These are
desperate times, and they call for desperate measures! So I do what anyone
looking for high energy foods would do, I ask Google. I make a shopping list of
the most frequently listed from about 11 different websites and I set about my
new diet. Feeling positive!
Every
morning I make a smoothie from bananas and oats and natural yoghurt and honey,
even my wraps are seedy and good for me (and I hate them).
A lot of
salmon, egg, avocado, cottage cheese and spinach later (3 weeks to be precise) and I
have to say, I feel… the same. Just as tired, just as shitty and just as
grumpy.